I’m not getting better at this.


Balance. The successful holding up of many things at once. Without falling.

I have, somehow, in my mind four distinct pictures:  what a responsible mother looks like, what a loving wife looks like, what an effective worship leader looks like, and what a sincere Christian looks like. Each picture is a rosy-cheeked idealist. When combined and held together in one hand, these pictures are nothing but chaos.  I cannot live up to my own expectations for each of these roles.

So what to do? How to balance out a life?  How to balance my time with my family with my time with God. Or my work.  Or my husband.  I once heard it said that trying to ‘balance’ God with the rest of our lives is an incomplete image of God’s interaction with us.  We should instead think about God as the center of our lives, like the hub of a wheel.  He is the center around which everything else turns.

But holding Jesus in the center creates a ‘drive by high five’ situation.  ‘Hey, Jesus!’, I shout as I blaze from one thing to the other. He’s there, in the center, but I never am.  I need a better paradigm.

Maybe it’s about soaking.  Maybe if I think about soaking each part of my life in God’s presence, things will seem to glide along more easily.  Not that ‘easy’ is the goal, of course. (Except who am I kidding, I hate it when my plans are thwarted).

All I know is… the balancing thing?  I’m not getting better at it. And this load of expecations? I don’t think this is what God had in mind when he spoke about abundant life. Nevertheless…. here I am with plates a-spinning.  So I pray for wisdom and I pray for peace.  At least, that’s where I’m starting.  We’ll see what happens. 

3 thoughts on “I’m not getting better at this.

  1. That does help, Shara. ‘Tension’ seems to more accurately reflect what I actually experience. ‘Balance’ always seems unattainable.

  2. Thanks, Shara. I do like that image… ‘tension’ seems to be a more accurate description of what I seem to experience.  ‘Balance’ has always seemed unachievable! 

  3. A thought from David Ruis that has challenged me: Christians tend to hyper-focus on balance. But life is made up of less balance and more tension. Balance is fragile; tension is stabilizing. Each individual point pulls on all the others, keeping you from slipping too far one way or another. I like that you visualize Jesus in the center of your wheel, because that’s the point of perfect tension. Maybe it helps?…

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