Why I’m better with God.

Who am I without God?.

There have been many times that I’ve been blown away by stories of how people (adults) have been changed by God revealing truth about himself to them.  It’s amazing to hear the ‘before’ and ‘after’ stories. I believe they are real.  I believe that it is only God Himself who can truly transform a life.

My story is a bit less notable, as I was a rule-following, quiet, studious 11-year-old living in a Christian family when I decided to dedicate my life to following Jesus. I had no striking ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures.

So, as an adult, I asked God once to show me what I would be like without a connection to Him.

This is not a question to ask flippantly.

Without realizing I was beginning to live out the answer, I slipped into an attitude of criticism and bitterness.  I found fault with everyone, including myself.   I have a natural tendency to believe that making and following plans is more important than the journey…. perfection is more important than compassion…. and at every moment, there are 14 things I ‘should’ have done differently, or ‘should’ be doing differently. Run with that combination toward the dark side, and you get a guilt-ridden, control freak.   This went on for a while.  I’m guessing I wasn’t very fun to live with.

Somehow, I still possessed enough self-awareness to recognize this was not, you know, a good way to live. I took a week to pray specifically about whatever it was that was happening.  God smacked me around with several Big Truths in that week.

Day one:  Bam. THIS is who I would be without Him. (I asked for this one)
Day two:  Being ‘with Him’ just means being with Him.  Like, every-day acknowledgement of His presence.
Day three through six:  See? Reading the Bible, praying, asking God to open my eyes to His presence… this makes it possible to use my ‘powers’ for good.
Day seven:  Wow!  This is amazing!  People need to KNOW about this!

That would be the entire message of Truth in a week’s experience.  We need God to really live.  We need God to discover who we have been created to be.  And when we discover that, we are compelled to tell other people about it.  Because really living is better than just barely making it.

Why do I write about this today? Because I’ve been reminded of this journey this week.  It’s been like a little tiny refresher course in the ways of the Great Truth Smackdown. Which is good… not necessarily easy… but good, and right. 

So… my question to you…. do you know who you are without God? do you know what it’s like to be ‘with’ God?

6 thoughts on “Why I’m better with God.

  1. tam, brent, jenny… isn’t it interesting that we all identify ‘selfishness’ as a direction we go when we move away from God?

    why don’t we ever get obsessed with the well-being of someone else?

    thanks so much for taking the time to answer a difficult question.

  2. To be without God for me is to be self-centered, jealous, discontent, coveting, critical, controling, and a host of other yucky things.

    I have had moments of “with God” that have been amazing and glorious – but haven’t had nearly as many of those as I’d like. Comes after seriously seeking God, comes with great joy and elation – nothing else like it. Being with God is gazing on His face, that is what transforms, and creates in me bubbling joy. It also brings about “spillage” – Jesus bubbling over in me, out to others. I become others-focused, care more about what God cares about, etc. etc. But you’re right – it’s easy to lose…not that you lose God – He never leaves. It happens when I take my eyes off of Him, and onto my surroundings, and forgetting that He is working, so I think I have to work hard, which wears me out! Blah!

  3. Without God? Very self focused and also angry.

    With God, learning to be less self focused and less angry :)

    I wish it was all better with Him, but at least I know He is in control.

    I love this post Kim. I love the honesty adn the questions your asking. I’m listening too.

  4. who am i w/out God.

    more selfish and afraid.

    to be “with” God??? i think the moments when i am truly with Him are the moments when it doesnt feel as if im forcing and even pretending. He is omnipresent…and when i just sit back a accept Him for who He is, in and over me…that brings a settling to my spirit…and i fall into just being “with” Him.

  5. It is a very dark and empty space filled with lots of thoughts that would get your blog censured if I were to describe them all. What I also find troubling is my compliance with the slippery slope that brings me to that place.

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