There’s this book called ‘Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti’. I haven’t read it, but I hear tell that the basic idea is that for men, each part of life is in its own separate box (thus the waffle), and for women, each part of life touches everything else (….and the spaghetti). Again, haven’t read it…. wouldn’t want to go on record as supporting the premise, except to say that it seems to be absolutely true.
For example. Being a woman, when I go to work I’m always aware of what needs to be done at home and visa versa. Is this the best way to live? Probably not. Do I have issues with being ‘fully present’ every moment? Um…yeah. Is a systematic transformation coming any time soon? Unlikely. On account of I’m obeying the book.
However. I have encountered failure in the Spaghetti Way. Every week, as a part of my worship leader job, I lead a band rehearsal. For a long long time, we have paid various high school or college students to provide care to our precious children at home during these rehearsals, as we tend to go late and there’s bedtime to be dealt with. Recently, schedule changes have required that child #2 is with us during a large part of band rehearsal. I would have thought this would be a fine idea….. he’s sort of into music, plus I’ve always had this glowy picture of our kids being involved in our ministry efforts. So as to pass on our values. Turns out mommy has exactly zero capacity to deal with questions, whining, or kid-related interruptions of any kind while also leading the 7-8 person band rehearsal. Mommy tries to internalize her impatience and react with a compassionate servant heart. Mommy ends up with quite a lot of internal pressure, however, and ends up unloading on, say, the innocent daddy/guitar player. Mommy is not well in these situations. And as for the passing on of values? Don’t even.
So, counting all rehearsals and Sunday morning, I apparently need to be a waffle for about 10 hours a week. Feel free to gently re-direct my children if you see them coming at me while I’m in the middle of sound check to ask, say, about going to McDonald’s for lunch. Support my waffle habit and save a life.