Archives for posts with tag: rant

Reader, forgive me, for I have sinned.

December 15, 2007 //
5

It has been 50 days since my last post.

But now I’m back. And all 12 of you are very relieved, I’m sure.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I have kept a list of things I’d enjoy blogging about if I could take the time to do so. I’m not going to try to catch up with my list. So here, for your enjoyment, are the things I could have been writing about.

- Halloween….when kids dress in things that don’t look like costumes
- funny things my son has been saying
- what I’m noticing about my daughter as she grows up
- pre-school music programs and the ensuing paparazzi
- getting organized (my new allegiance to GTD and continued fascination with organizational paraphernalia)
- reflections on a Puritan prayer
- speaking about the Biblical context of worship to a group of awesome people who come from a very different place than I do
- what does it really mean to ‘do life’ with a ‘community’ of people?
- how do people find time to blog?

And finally….two items of tremendous importance that I will now explore in great detail.

1. Wall calendars.
I was looking for a 2008 wall calendar the other day. Except for celebrities , pets, and sports calendars, all the calendar artwork seems to focus on what are apparently desirable locations. Paintings or pics of beaches….. island paradises…… castles….. I’m assuming the idea is that when our eyes fall on these images, we are afforded a moment of respite from the dismal surroundings in which we actually find ourselves. Nice theory, but I’M thinking we need images that make us feel better about where we are. Solution? I propose a Department of Motor Vehicles calendar. Or artwork dedicated to dentistry tools. Or pics of hundreds of screaming toddlers. Or Richard Simmons. (That’s gold, Jerry.)

2. Candy canes.
I’ve noticed a few trends in packaging this year. Lots of packaged goods are now ‘resealable’ with a great little ziploc feature. And somebody figured out how to make it possible to open packages of batteries without the use of power tools and expletives. Awesome. And yet, still, in this year two thousand ought seven, when my kids bring me the first candy cane of the season, I am plunged into human vs. plastic hell. Seriously. There is No Way to Open a Candy Cane Without Destroying It. You almost always have to resort to using your teeth, and when you DO finally get it open, then it’s all about crumb management. Which begs the question…what is the wrapper actually doing? Somebody should fix this.

All that to say, welcome back. Be sure to let me know you stopped by.

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Categories blogging

Marketing Rant

September 12, 2007 //
5

OK, produce marketing people, explain to me the Personal Watermelon. Was it sooooo annoying to the average American fruit consumer to share the normal sized melon? Am I sooooo enthralled by my own independence that I will be more likely to buy a smaller melon if it sounds as though it was born and raised ‘just for me’? IT’S JUST SMALL. In fact it’s the same size as a cantaloupe, which is still appropriate for a crowd, apparently.

Argh.

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Categories random

Plagues.

August 25, 2007 //
4


Mad props to Busymom for the term “Great Appliance Failure of 2007″. While deep sympathy and utmost respect are in order, as this is the 4th installment of such an event for her, I do believe I have her beat this year in terms of both numbers and density.

The following have occurred in the past 40 days:

Washing Machine–terrible noises followed by prolific leaking; upon examination by qualified technician, deemed reparable for a mere $400.
Dishwasher–terrible noises due to heating element bursting from its moorings; upon examination by qualified technician, deemed unreparable.
Refrigerator in rental property–complete failure; has been replaced.
Hot Water Heater in barn (term ‘barn’ is figurative; has finished kitchen, bathroom, and living quarters)–spontaneous electrical problem trips breaker 4,678 times a day; deemed reparable upon examination by qualified technician, who didn’t ever return after deeming it so.
Refrigerator in barn–failure in ice maker leads to prolific leaking, which has irreparably damaged wood laminate flooring in kitchen.

NOTE: with exception of both refrigerators, all appliances are under 7 years old.

I am not whining. I am not complaining. I am coming to understand that Amana is not a 4-letter word. I am no longer angered by the term ‘qualified technician’. I am learning to be content and thankful in all things. I am gaining character daily, as handwashing dishes is a deeply meaningful and rewarding activity. I am becoming stronger.

I DON’T WANT TO BE ANY STRONGER.
I AM DONE WITH GROWTH.

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Categories you probably won't be back