I’m going to be honest with you. As a worship planner & leader & a believer & a parent, I struggle with how to celebrate Easter and Christmas. I believe these events define the reality in which we live. I believe Jesus was sent to earth by God to save us. I believe it’s important to retell the stories, to remind each other of the simple, powerful truth found in God’s deafening act of love. But personally, I struggle with what these celebrations mean in terms of extra hours spent working, hours my kids spend with an assortment of childcare people during these seasons. And too often I let that struggle have more focus than the heart of what we’re celebrating.
I find myself wondering if this is the sacrifice required of me and my family. And I always get stuck on this: is it worth it? The day before our Holy Week Journey was completed, just days before Easter, I spoke that question out loud to my husband who, quite appropriately, told me I had to stop talking and thinking that way. He went on to say something about calling and ministry and opposition and taking thoughts captive…. all of which I barely could focus on in my attempt to try to keep myself from being wrong and ignore his ‘rightness’. What never ceases to amaze me is that God uses what we offer. I came to Easter morning knowing we had a solid ‘plan’…. knowing the reality we were going to celebrate is the greatest news there has ever been… knowing God is on the throne… knowing I had shadows of doubts and disappointments and questions and resentments all around the edges of my spirit.
I have learned that when I take a second to stop reveling in these negative thoughts that are oddly addictive, I remember with clarity that there IS opposition to our message, I AM asked to sacrifice, and I WILL still stand and worship despite those realities. So in prayer, I did just that. I do, by the way, get it. I know the work is worth it. I know the sacrifice I make is very small. I know the worship celebration of the church is powerful. I know where I am weak. I hope that through it all, the truth of God shines.
