I began replaying the day before… when did I last have it… when did I last use it….I even tried the ‘find my iphone’ feature, but my phone wasn’t connected to a network anywhere. Hmmm….
And with a gut-blanching suddenness I remembered.

I had taken it outside the night before while this was happening. Because I wanted to take pictures.

I remembered that there had been a bit of a scuffle, so I put my phone down to help out.  I remember thinking, “I HAVE to remember to take that back inside”.
Then, my son had a bit of an accident on a scooter, so I had to help him get into the house and quiet the screaming.

I forgot about the phone.
Where did I leave it?
Here.

Wondering what that is, exactly? Try this view.

I PUT IT ON THE BUMPER OF THE CAR.
(I know.)

When I realized all of this, my husband had already met a friend for breakfast and had returned home, driving this car.  He looked at the bumper… and was convinced the phone had gone with him. Because it had been raining, and the phone shaped outline implies something was sitting there in the rain.

Be still my heart.

He, being an amazing husband with a great appreciation for personal communication, retraced his steps.

And he found my phone.

My phone rode on the back of his bumper, in the spot pictured above…. for about 4.5 miles…
…down our bumpy driveway…
…through a half mile of washboard gravel road, including several hundred feet through a construction site (none of which Neil drives through with, say, great restraint)…
… a few miles of 5 lane suburban roadway, including several stoplights…
… IN THE RAIN…
… to this restaurant.

He found the phone lying face up in the parking lot. In perfect condition.

(pause to offer thanks and absorb the ridiculousness of my own actions)

He is, and has been for 15 years now, My Hero.

Setting: band rehearsal.  Learning a new song.
Bass player:  I don’t have the chords to that song.  (to worship leader/acoustic player) Can I look over your shoulder? 
Acoustic player: My shoulder doesn’t have the right chords.
Drummer:  Stupid shoulder.
 

Setting: staff meeting
staff member 1: I haven’t seen [person x] at church for a while.
staff member 2:  well, he is a fairly quiet guy.
(pause)
staff member 1: but he’s.. visible, right?
 

Setting:  car pool, which includes our neighbor kindergarten girl
girl: my feeling hurts.
me: your feeling? your one feeling hurts?
girl: yes. (pause) my third one.
 

Setting: dinner time at home
background: son’s kindergarten class uses a green/yellow/red card system to reward and encourage good behavior.  After a student has a certain number of ‘green card’ days, he or she gets to pick something out of a ‘treasure chest’.

son: mom, I just barely missed the treasure chest today.
me: (suspicious) why’s that?
son: guess.
me: did you get a yellow card?
son: (grins) yep.
me: why?
son: because I did this down the hall (collapses and log rolls across the floor) 
me: you rolled on the floor?!!?
son: (giggling… proud) yep.
me: which teacher gave you the card?
son: guess.
me: Mrs. B___?
son: yep. man, she’s strict.

Who makes you laugh in your everyday life?

It’s a fun question, and I thought of about 14 fun answers immediately.  And then I realized I was confusing ‘being invisible’ with ‘being invisible with unlimited funds’.  

So I reeled in my glamourous travel plans and, eventually, I landed at these answers.  Which, it turns out, are way better anyway. 

If I were invisible, I would watch my kids go through their day at school.  I visit a lot, but of course nothing is normal with a visible parent in the room. I would love to see them interact with their friends…. interact with their teachers…. really see how they respond throughout the day. I think I would be surprised in lots of ways.

If I were invisible I would watch my husband at work.  He’s brilliant, and creative, and works with a great team of other brilliant creatives.  My hunch is that their teamwork is at its best when there aren’t other people skulking around the office.  I would love to watch them do what they do.

And finally, my dad.  My dad has been a pastor for 16 years.  Neil and I have been involved in church ministry in some form for 14 years, living about an hour away from my parents. So we’ve all learned things together.  My dad was a dairy farmer when I was growing up, and if you know anything about family-owned dairy farms, you’ll understand why he was a guy that routinely fell asleep at 8pm and rarely had time for any kind of scholarly pursuits.  He has since that time become a person who has a new book to recommend every time we see him… leads his church with integrity and vision… and has a heart for the community surrounding him. Every once in a while this ‘new’ version of my dad still catches me off-guard.  But the truth is, he’s a great leader.  He’s a ridiculously energetic pastor serving a church with a unique set of cultural realities. His church is growing, vibrant, and writing a new manual on how to serve a community. I would LOVE to watch him at work for a while.  

So. Your turn. What would YOU do if YOU were invisible?

Neil: (whispers to me) look, little pink houses for you and me.

Me: (whispers back) ah, but ain’t that America?

Neil: (shrugs) well, it’s something to see.

(h/t: john mellencamp)

Check out zipskinny. Find out everything you’re not sure you needed to know about your neighbors.

This post is a part of watercooler wednesday, a blog gathering for creative people and their crazy ideas.

Check this out from the brave and creative Improv Everywhere team.

h/t: JVo

7:30 am Saturday.

Phone rings.
Neighbor’s voice: “Kim, there’s a hot air balloon at the end of the driveway and they’re giving free tether rides.

Hallie peeking over the side.

Deflating and stowing the balloon…..everyone gets to help.

Done at 9:00 am
Now what?