a powerful question… a powerful answer.
Posts from the ‘faith’ Category
Sep 27
Listening… again… ugh
I’ve been working hard at really trying to listen to God’s voice.
I’m not good at this.
Seriously. I know that God can speak any way he wants. I know it’s not confined to me sitting by myself with a journal in a meditative-y sort of mood. I know God speaks through people, through nature, through the experience of driving on a busy highway. But I also know I need there to be times of silence in solitude, and I need to ask the question “what are you saying?” And I need to keep my mind quieted for the answer.
Did I mention? I am not good at this.
God, how can I serve you and really love other people today?
(ouch my foot hurts. wonder if that’s from…. wait, I didn’t actually DO anything yesterday to my foot. Wow I was such a slug, actually. I really need to get into the habit of exercising. Did I remember to send that permission slip to school? Dang it. I forgot to talk to so-and-so about what we’re going to do for communion 3 Sundays from now. I really wish someone else could make those arrangements now and then. It would be so great to have a couple of Sundays off. What kind of job would I want if I didn’t have this one? But no, wait, I know… this was a ‘calling’. I can’t ignore that. God called me to….ohhh no… )
God, I’m so sorry! I don’t know how you can stand it! Please help me listen to you and quiet my own frantic voice! ugh……
This is what happens when I attempt to really tune in to what God might be saying. Over and over. So every day I try to put my own whirly brain-voice in the ‘time out chair’ to allow God’s voice to be heard. I know from experience that when I stick with this, it gets easier over time. I am more tuned in to what God is saying and what He’s doing throughout the day. Just like any discipline, it’s this first stage that is killer.
So I’m sticking it out and I’m forcing myself to quiet down. And I’m listening. Perhaps I’ll tell you sometime what I hear….
Aug 27
On not being a selfish clod.
I’m currently reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It’s very good, and it’s making me be honest with myself about a few things. This isn’t easy, but it’s good and necessary.
In the book, Chan quotes George Bernard Shaw:
“This is true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
I don’t want to be a feverish, selfish little clod. But I know I am sometimes because I totally get that description.
I think the hard part, besides the inertia of our clod-ness, is making sure we’ve found something that we recognize to be a ‘mighty purpose’.
Have you found such a purpose?
Jul 21
I’m not getting better at this.
Balance. The successful holding up of many things at once. Without falling.
I have, somehow, in my mind four distinct pictures: what a responsible mother looks like, what a loving wife looks like, what an effective worship leader looks like, and what a sincere Christian looks like. Each picture is a rosy-cheeked idealist. When combined and held together in one hand, these pictures are nothing but chaos. I cannot live up to my own expectations for each of these roles.
So what to do? How to balance out a life? How to balance my time with my family with my time with God. Or my work. Or my husband. I once heard it said that trying to ‘balance’ God with the rest of our lives is an incomplete image of God’s interaction with us. We should instead think about God as the center of our lives, like the hub of a wheel. He is the center around which everything else turns.
But holding Jesus in the center creates a ‘drive by high five’ situation. ’Hey, Jesus!’, I shout as I blaze from one thing to the other. He’s there, in the center, but I never am. I need a better paradigm.
Maybe it’s about soaking. Maybe if I think about soaking each part of my life in God’s presence, things will seem to glide along more easily. Not that ‘easy’ is the goal, of course. (Except who am I kidding, I hate it when my plans are thwarted).
All I know is… the balancing thing? I’m not getting better at it. And this load of expecations? I don’t think this is what God had in mind when he spoke about abundant life. Nevertheless…. here I am with plates a-spinning. So I pray for wisdom and I pray for peace. At least, that’s where I’m starting. We’ll see what happens.
Holy Week thoughts
Those who followed Jesus were looking for a king who would overthrow the oppressive Roman government. They welcomed Jesus as this king, but did not understand that they were being led, and loved, by a very different kind of king.
They didn’t expect to see a God of justice and mercy.
They didn’t expect to be loved completely.
They didn’t expect to watch him die.
We may be different than these followers.
We aren’t looking for a king.
We are happy to rule our own lives.
Most of us are desperately, quietly, trying to keep our lives spinning.
But we do want to be loved completely.
We do want to know there is a loving, just God.
We know—we know—our ‘spinning’ can’t be all there is.
Because Jesus died, we can live forever
Because Jesus came back to life, we can fully live.
We find our greatest fulfillment when living in the way Jesus taught.
We were created to live this way… with Jesus as our king.
So… is Jesus your king?
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This was written for a part of the Good Friday worship experience at FirstMBChurch tomorrow night. Good Friday is a traditional Christian holiday commemorating the day Jesus was crucified and died. Our church has chosen to observe this holiday through a guided journey called the Road to Jerusalem, starting at 7:30pm. It’s a simple, interactive experience where participants will walk with Jesus and his disciples through the last week of his life. The experience has been designed with families & kids in mind, but will be compelling for all ages. If you are in the Wichita area, join us!
