So I lost my phone.
It was about 9am when I looked for it to make a call, and it wasn’t in any of the 36 normal landing spots at home.
So I looked in the 17 alternate landing places to no avail.
I even looked in the couch.

I began replaying the day before… when did I last have it… when did I last use it….I even tried the ‘find my iphone’ feature, but my phone wasn’t connected to a network anywhere. Hmmm….
And with a gut-blanching suddenness I remembered.

I had taken it outside the night before while this was happening. Because I wanted to take pictures.

I remembered that there had been a bit of a scuffle, so I put my phone down to help out.  I remember thinking, “I HAVE to remember to take that back inside”.
Then, my son had a bit of an accident on a scooter, so I had to help him get into the house and quiet the screaming.

I forgot about the phone.
Where did I leave it?
Here.

Wondering what that is, exactly? Try this view.

I PUT IT ON THE BUMPER OF THE CAR.
(I know.)

When I realized all of this, my husband had already met a friend for breakfast and had returned home, driving this car.  He looked at the bumper… and was convinced the phone had gone with him. Because it had been raining, and the phone shaped outline implies something was sitting there in the rain.

Be still my heart.

He, being an amazing husband with a great appreciation for personal communication, retraced his steps.

And he found my phone.

My phone rode on the back of his bumper, in the spot pictured above…. for about 4.5 miles…
…down our bumpy driveway…
…through a half mile of washboard gravel road, including several hundred feet through a construction site (none of which Neil drives through with, say, great restraint)…
… a few miles of 5 lane suburban roadway, including several stoplights…
… IN THE RAIN…
… to this restaurant.

He found the phone lying face up in the parking lot. In perfect condition.

(pause to offer thanks and absorb the ridiculousness of my own actions)

He is, and has been for 15 years now, My Hero.