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Personal grooming decisions. (Not that I have an opinion.)

I need your help. 

This is a picture of my husband and me, about 4 years ago. You’ll notice his goatee.  He’s had some form of this for quite a while.

Recently, he’s been allowing it to grow.  There was no discussion about this.  I’m not sure I should have expected there to be discussion. It just started getting longer, as though it has a life of its own. 

Really, I don’t have an opinion on the matter. I’m unbiased. 

However he asked me recently if I think he should continue to allow it to grow.  I explained that I’m unbiased.  And then I made the point that just because something can be done, doesn’t mean it should be done.  You know, just to point out a basic philosophical truth. 

But last week, someone told my husband he looked like a rock star.  A few days later, someone he had just met asked him if he was Amish, partially because of his beard.

Just so we’re all on the same page, that’s 1 for ‘rock star’, and 1 for ‘Amish guy’.

I believe he is uncertain as to his next direction on this matter: should the goat be trimmed or allowed to grow? I mentioned to him that perhaps my blogging friends could help, and he was horrified energized by the idea. So, I turn to you for help.  See pics below.

So, my friends, speak out. Trim or grow? Rock star or Amish?

(And yes, this is exactly the kind of post that should break a blog-fast.  Thoughts on our Mexico trip will follow soon.)

72 Comments Post a comment
  1. I second the bowl cut idea.

    October 26, 2009
  2. Doug #

    If it stays long…braided pig tails

    If it goes short, a little shorter and squared off on the bottom

    October 26, 2009
  3. Jill xo #

    p.s. Dreadlocks.

    September 18, 2008
  4. Jill xo #

    Okay — I tried to add the website, and this website kept rejecting my messages. Me & technology? Not so much. You’ll have to google it yourselves.

    September 18, 2008
  5. Check out the Electric Amish website.

    We have their “Barn to be Wild” album and it rocks — much adolescent potty humor mixed with Amish jokes. So HILARIOUS for any man in the room. See Neil, you CAN be both!

    September 18, 2008
  6. kim #

    jimmy…. what up? braiding? BRAIDING????? I thought you were our FRIEND…… :)

    September 4, 2008
  7. jimmy oaf #

    totally rock star. i think he should start braiding it for even more intrigue…

    September 4, 2008
  8. I vote that it looks amish and he should TRIM it.

    August 26, 2008
  9. kenyongerbrandt #

    Definetly time to trim…not necessarily remove…

    August 25, 2008
  10. Okay I hate it. It needs to go! He’d be a handsome guy without it.

    August 25, 2008
  11. kim #

    Andrea… I”m going to email you right now! Thanks so much for writing!

    August 22, 2008
  12. Kim,

    I am Andrea from Mexico. I would love your email to email back and forth with you. It’s totally great that you read our blog. I don’t post uper often, but you are welcome to read it.

    ricarod is doing better. His face still isn’t back to normal, but hopefully it will be soon, with so many people praying for him.

    I am glad you guys had such a great time in Mexico with us. It was wonderful having you there, and I do rememmber your husband with his video camera.

    Hope you guys are doing well and that I hear from you again soon.

    August 22, 2008
  13. Thanks :)

    August 22, 2008
  14. kim #

    JENNIFER!!!! I love you!!!

    What if I’m sitting at my computer with the big hair RIGHT NOW?? :)

    August 22, 2008
  15. Jennifer #

    Kim,
    Do you think he’s going through a mid life crisis early? Do you expect a little red sports car next? If that is the case, keep the goatee, if not cut the facial hair! :)

    jennifer
    (one who can do big hair as good as you…but we don’t make others experience it…often :)

    August 22, 2008
  16. Oops…

    Mom, can you fix that :)

    August 21, 2008
  17. “oh and also ‘male-pattern mac user’.”

    hahahahaha!!!!!

    August 21, 2008
  18. kim #

    oh and also ‘male-pattern mac user’.

    August 21, 2008
  19. kim #

    uhhhh….. no. no I am not.

    don’t make this about the Amish.

    you and i and Neil all know the facial hair is about the youth ministry/tech guy/mountain dew drinker profile.

    August 21, 2008
  20. So, Kim, based on your last comment, you are doing your best to strip Neil of his heritage and family ties?

    August 21, 2008
  21. kim #

    steve, you’re makin’ me laugh. there are like 200 Amish guys about 45 minutes away from us named Bontrager. And Neil’s related to 198 of them. So you’re saying perhaps he’s just returning to his roots?

    August 21, 2008
  22. kim #

    tally so far:
    trim it: 17
    leave it: 10

    women:
    trim it: 16
    leave it: 4

    men:
    trim it: 1
    leave it: 6

    August 21, 2008
  23. uncle steve #

    Deacon Bontrager has a nice ring to it…

    August 21, 2008
  24. uncle steve #

    I vote for the amish thing. as one who has recently expressed ones self through hair (or the lack of) I say leave it flourish. A bowl cut would add soooo much. ;<)}

    August 21, 2008
  25. I’m hurt…

    August 21, 2008
  26. grannynanny320 #

    I don’t really care about the goat, except that if he keeps it I reaally would like to pull it. Not every time I see it, but maybe once, just for fun. Well, to tell the actual truth, I don’t like it for looks, but I like it for making a statement.

    I’m going to the zoo today. Neil, could you come and pose with Nelly? Just for kicks. haa-aaa-aa-…goat, kicks. sorry, not awake yet.

    August 21, 2008
  27. kim #

    wow you’re soooo helpful. and objective.

    everyone: any vote count published here by brent(inWorship) has been rigged.

    August 20, 2008
  28. How about I count for you and I’ll let you know who wins :)

    Now get some sleep, I’ve got Neil…I mean it covered…

    August 20, 2008
  29. kim #

    brent… I didn’t do a count in the first place. I tried just now… about 3 times. Every time I have fallen asleep. So I’m thinking I need to do this tomorrow…..

    August 20, 2008
  30. I demand a recount…

    August 20, 2008
  31. kim #

    wow. this is hilarious. With a few exceptions the score is men: ‘leave it’, women: ‘trim it’.

    Also, welcome newcomers to the blog! And as for those of you that I actually KNOW, thanks for choosing to participate in this oh-so-important debate. :)

    August 20, 2008
  32. Sharon #

    I must admit I prefer four years ago or about 1/2 of the growth…BUT if you choose the majority vote, it seems that something might be missing…like a tatoo!!! Again not my preference. Actually, you may want to ask “the daughter”–just that you care to ask may matter a big deal at this stage–let it equal 10 votes.

    August 20, 2008
  33. Marilyn #

    Now I know where the ‘goat’ in goatee comes from! It does look like Neil should be speaking in bleats. Personally, I prefer a full, nicely trimmed beard. Never could figure out the appeal of little tufts here and there!

    But whatever works for the two of you!

    August 19, 2008
  34. ben marquez #

    grow it….grow it….grow it

    August 18, 2008
  35. Amish, definately Amish. I saw on TV that Yoder is having a celebration next weekend honoring their town and its Amish influences. Go, and see if Neil can pass for one of them. Tell them your last name is Bontrager and they’ll belive you’re Amish for sure! That is if they don’t see your techy gadgets!

    All that said, TRIM it already!

    August 17, 2008
  36. I think he’s “rocking” the “amish”. Let him keep it! :)

    August 17, 2008
  37. christy #

    Rock start? no
    Amish man? quite possibly
    Goat? YES!

    Trim it…trim it NOW!!!

    August 17, 2008
  38. jeannie #

    Hilarious!!

    Definitely an Amish look – ever consider moving to Yoder & getting a buggy? Not sure – do they allow computers in the home? Drooling at the thought of those wonderful cinnamon rolls though!

    A vote here for trim.

    August 17, 2008
  39. Not really Amish…not really rock star either. Just a little scary! Lose it.

    August 16, 2008
  40. Andrea #

    Does he make excellent cinnamon rolls? If not, trim it!

    August 16, 2008
  41. Jane #

    Please trim it or shave it off

    August 16, 2008
  42. Saw the title on the main page, and it intrigued me, heh

    Facial hair on my guys, gotta have it :) An exceedingly well-groomed Jesus-look is ideal :) For me, it’s both the mucho masculine appeal of it, as well as the nonconformist and freedom aspect. That is, guys who are smart and confident enough to do whatever the hell they please rock my world, lol

    I have to be honest though, your guy is much more attractive in the top photo — with the shorter goatee length. BUT, even with that said, and that’s just my preference, I say whatever makes HIM feel the best about himself is the way to go.

    If it makes him feel good, and you don’t seem to mind either way, then I say he should go with what makes him feel good and confident. Anything that makes ya’ genuinely confident, makes ya’ sexy ;)

    Dove

    August 16, 2008
  43. The fact that I didn’t notice the goatee on the mac video leads me to believe that it blended in with the carpet which leads me to believe that THAT’S JUST WRONG.

    Love you, man. :)

    August 15, 2008
  44. Has anybody voted for Amish Rock Star! Of course that would mean he could never again play anything electric and he’d have to give up his Mac computer collection. I say let it grow long enough to cut off and donate to Locks of Love for those other Amish rock stars who have lost their beards from undergoing medical treatment.

    August 15, 2008
  45. kim #

    Wow. So many first time commenters joining in the facial hair debate.

    Beth… No worries. I think he’s handsome too. :)

    Cathy… Get thee and thy husband to re:create in Feb & all your worst fears could be realized. I’m working toward Neil & I both going. And the Hodges will be there.

    Allison! You’re awesome. Plus also you’re right.

    Chandra… Welcome! Stick around. We dont always tackle such weighty topics as this.

    Auntiem…. most of he women who have commented seem to have the same opinion. Interesting.

    klampert… I’m gonna need diagrams or 3d renderings or something.

    August 15, 2008
  46. hmmm..Im gonna vote again…I say KEEP IT..YEAH.
    its killer…seems a little wide though…maybe some thinning shears or something.
    that beast might attack somebody

    August 15, 2008
  47. looks like a good catch for lots of food! i’d go short! :) funny that he was compared to 1, rock star and 2, amish! :)

    August 15, 2008
  48. “I fear the day that Neil, Brent and Brian enter the same room.”

    What a wonderful day it would be…in all it’s hairy goodness…

    August 15, 2008
  49. Chandra #

    Trim, trim, trim!

    I cannot stand 99 percent of all facial hair.

    August 15, 2008
  50. allison #

    i was gone all summer, and when i came back i was startled by the appearance of said facial hair.

    sorry neil, its gotta go..
    looks much more amish than rock star.

    i got your back, kim ;)

    August 15, 2008
  51. Dear Amish Boy,

    Off it shouldst cometh. Seriously.

    (I fear the day that Neil, Brent and Brian enter the same room.)

    August 15, 2008
  52. So, to clarify, my vote would be for TRIM.

    I think I’m cool. I’m not sure, but maybe…

    August 15, 2008
  53. Okay, this feels really weird. And let me say that your husband is a good-looking man, a handsome man, in fact. And the facial hair definitely gives him that rock-star quality. For sure.

    But honestly?

    That’s too much hair.

    And that’s my opinion.

    August 15, 2008
  54. kim #

    I can’t believe how people are de-lurking (??) in order to comment on the state of a goatee. hilarious.

    Brett…. you were always exactly as cool as you thought you were.

    Jess… YOU are my girl. Thank you.

    professors… now that I’ve figured out who you are…. I wasn’t aware you were readers of the blog, but so glad to hear from you! I’ll be sure Neil takes note of the coolness level of those who have said not-so-much-grow it out.

    August 15, 2008
  55. Kim,

    Don’t know if you were aware that I am a reader of your blog. I can’t even recall how I stumbled across it. I have to say, though, I hate the beard! It HAS to go.

    Christine

    P.S. Sorry Neil!

    August 15, 2008
  56. Jess Lindsey #

    I gotta go against the majority here and vote TRIM IT.

    In fact, TRIM IT NOW!

    August 15, 2008
  57. Brett #

    As a former possessor of a ridiculous goatee, looking back, it was not nearly as cool as I thought it was at the time. But on the other hand, looking back, I was not nearly as cool as I thought I was, so it might just be me

    August 15, 2008
  58. Hahaha!!!

    And yet another vote for #2…Score!

    August 15, 2008
  59. kim #

    tam… i still love you.

    dang. neil saw the comments.

    August 15, 2008
  60. dishesanddiapers #

    My husband is another who randomly grows out and shaves his hair due to boredom, he says. As for your hubby, I am leaning more toward Amish than rocker. Excellent effort, though! I am sure my husband would take up the challenge if he saw this!

    August 15, 2008
  61. Neil #

    Thanks everybody….
    looks like it might continue to grow…

    (oh yea, Brent #2 maybe #4)

    August 15, 2008
  62. tam #

    keep it just like that. it looks hott!

    sorry. but it does!!!

    and i said “it” not “him”

    although he looks pretty hott too.

    sorry again.

    im leaving now…

    August 15, 2008
  63. kim #

    thanks everyone for your input.

    clearly I need new friends.

    :)

    August 15, 2008
  64. Umm! Having had both a short and bushy gotee myself – Rock On!!

    August 15, 2008
  65. I’m going to say shave it off and keep the soul patch.

    August 15, 2008
  66. hmm…considering mine is a little longer than that…B! ;)

    August 15, 2008
  67. t #

    grow it!!! :)

    August 15, 2008
  68. Oh wait…

    Yes, keep it and let it grow.

    Amish? That person is a freak. Totally rock star!

    August 15, 2008
  69. I don’t know…it’s something about the glimmer in his eye.

    August 15, 2008
  70. I vote for B…

    August 15, 2008

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