Police line, do not cross

So, ever had one of those days when you feel like you’re poison? Like everything that comes out of your mouth should have stayed inside? That’s me today. I was unreasonably harsh with my daughter this morning before school, and have already regretted a few sarcastic comments I’ve made in conversations with other people.

This is not a new problem. I’ve been trying to work on this for a while. It’s taken a lifetime to foster a pattern of sarcastic humor that leaps to the forefront of my mind ahead of everything that could be regarded as pure…. like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness. And what’s that other one? Oh yeah, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Sadly, against sarcasm there is no law, either, otherwise I might have developed a greater sense of self-censorship. If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed the warning signs leading to today’s dark-cloud-mood. These things swirl and brew in my head before they come out around other people. For example, in the post previous to this one, I wrote about a church sign I noticed the other day, and I had a few things to say about it. All ‘in good humor’, of course. Even as I was posting it, I had an uneasy feeling about putting thoughts out there that essentially criticize a church. But the satisfaction of writing it, and letting others see how clever I can be, was too delicious. So I posted it.

I have now removed it. Because no matter what I think about another church’s philosophies or theology or preferences, the bottom line is that The Church belongs to God, and I am a part of that equal with those who do things differently from me. I love to think about and talk about how The Church lives its mission in the world, and I am ok with pointing out where we have missed the mark. I love to read about people who are taking the mission of the church seriously, and who are changing what ‘church’ looks like and acts like. But I should not fly by any church’s work and toss out cynical remarks. That helps no one. We carry the name of Jesus, and when I do this, it makes HIM look bad. Which is exactly the opposite of what my purpose is.

So my apologies to those who read my previous post. Several of you commented and shared a laugh with me. Please don’t feel bad about that, if you were starting to! The fault is mine. I’m working at aiming for that which is good and pure, and this time I missed.